• Maria S.

How I Desire My Children Healed...

I hear the Lord saying:


"Beloved, come to Me. Be near Me at all times. I desire to see my children healed of all their wounds that have been accumulating for years. The enemy keeps them bound with unforgiveness and unresolved anger. When they keep all their hurts bottled up inside them and do not deal with them, then over time they start to fester, ooze and eventually come forth in uncontrollable explosive anger, yelling, and even breakdown. It is very important to let all these hurts come to the surface and come before me and lament. YES...lament! Cry out to me from the depths of your soul. Tell me your hurt, your offence. Tell me what is afflicting your soul. Share with me what is bothering or oppressing you.
If you look in my word, you will see my beloved from ancient times doing the exact same thing. Examples are David in and through the Psalms; he lamented to me about his persecutions, his sins, his pain and his anguish. Another example is Solomon in the book of lamentations. They did not fear speaking it out in my presence.
I urge you all to search my word and see how many times my chosen ones lamented before me. Even in their lamenting they repented and were given great freedom and peace. This IS the secret to healthy mind, body and soul. Repentance and forgiveness will set you free!"

This is such a beautiful word from our LORD and pure truth. In the last year, I have come a long way in my walk with Jesus by learning and growing from others who too have gone through what I have gone through; an emotional and physical breakdown. Great pain, anguish and hurt hit me like a nuclear warhead. I collapsed. I could not function. My body fell apart, my emotions broke down and I sobbed like a baby and ended in the emergency department fearing for my life. Betrayal, abandonment, harshness and condemnation can destroy a person. When we harbour these pains without our soul and don't speak or deal with them...this can cause dire consequences in our lives.


Around July 2018 this all came crashing down on me. Out of nowhere, I began to suffer multiple panic/anxiety attacks in one day. (I have NEVER suffered these before ever, not even through great difficult times in my life) During this time, the LORD began to show me so much that I had believed, lies from satan, people, etc. He also showed me that if I did not let great offences and anger go, come before Him and cry out, yes even falling to the ground in great sobs, I how would I expect to be freed/healed.





I have gone through a great transformation by understanding that NOT releasing all the bent up anger, hurt, frustration, betrayal, abandonment, condemnation, abuse, etc....(the list could go on an on, but for the sake of time, I will end here)...I would not be where I am today.


I will now share with you my testimony of what JESUS did for me. His beloved! 😍


It was during our weekend Revival Nights at our church just before Christmas last year (2018) that my life came to a great change. Worship had been so anointed. I could feel the anointing of God in the sanctuary. I went even though I was still very sick with panic/anxiety attacks that would come out of nowhere and bring me to a state of complete hopelessness and despair. I felt like I would die! I remember I had to take some medication to help stabilize my anxiety just in order to even be there.





Our Pastor Brenda had a word for us from the LORD during worship, and she went up to the pulpit and started to speak it out and mentioned that the LORD was showing her someone who was suffering with anxiety and panic attacks. Who would feel like they were suffocating. They would at times also feel a huge pressure on their chest and that the LORD was asking them to step out in faith and come to the front to receive healing.


I remember exactly what I was doing, standing there and looking up at her thinking, "what could this be me??" Oh this must be for someone else (as I know others who suffer with this great anguish too). Then I heard Jesus say to me, 'Go, go, now this is for you".... I felt this great empowerment/boldness come over me, that literally propelled me out of the area where I was standing and I found myself just torpedoing up to the front. LOL...No fear! No shame or resistance! When Pastor Brenda saw me approach, she immediately came down from the altar area and started to lay her hands on me and pray! Then a sister in Christ Sylvia also came and laid hands on me. I felt a stream of electric current just hit me from the top of my head all the way through my entire body to the bottom of my feet. I was shaking. I felt something just lift off me and began to weep. (I had already been crying out to the LORD for months lamenting in my anguish and trying to forgive those who had greatly hurt me) I cried and cried and then I felt joy! By the time I went back to my seat I felt my old self again. I knew I had received a great healing from my beloved!


That night I went home and guess what???? I did not have to take any more anti-anxiety medication!!! I was healed. I have not had an anxiety or panic attack since!! Praise God!!! Glory to God!


Now, this breakdown also caused all my muscles to go into twitching and spasms. This was very, very frightening to me, as my mom had passed away from ALS many years ago. I saw a neurologist immediately where I work, and praise God he revealed that I did NOT have that horrid disease. Blessed be God!!!!


This too over the last 9 months or so I have been healed of little by little. As I release all resent, unforgiveness and grevious pain that I had held deep inside my heart for years, I am being healed.


I go before Jesus and I share with Him all my pain. I do NOT hide my feelings or try to suppress them. I am real and raw with Him. I allow Him to touch those areas and dig them out and heal me from that awful pain. I forgive and release...I have also repented for things done and not done.


Many times, we are not aware of all the "skeletons we have hidden in our closets" until something this drastic happens. The LORD revealed to me something that I had completely forgotten about from my childhood, a young boy who had bullied and even threatened my life. This was dealt with by my Jesus and I am free! OOOOOoh sooooo free!


Beloved brothers and sisters, I encourage you to do the same! Jesus is our healer. He is the only one who really knows what's inside your broken heart/soul. Allow Him to free you today, as He has done for me! Believe you me, we ALL ride in the same boat! No one is excluded of offences or unforgiveness! If we believe we aren't then we are deceived.


I pray that you will be blessed and encouraged to run to Jesus to healing and freedom! Be bold, fear not, for He will NOT reject or condemn you! He truly does LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!


Bless you all!




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